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No Trunk Meats Today, Thanks

Dramatic Re-enactment!

A guy just knocked on my door selling meat.  Door to door.  From a huge ice chest.

The meats were flash frozen in boxes, and were obviously purchased from a wholesaler.  I know, I’m probably just some kind of crazy meat snob, but I really do prefer to not to eat things out of a stranger’s trunk.

Just sayin’.





Lots of new Kindle options out today, and while I think having color or touchscreen options is cool, this is what really caught my eye:

Apparently you can get the latest-gen Kindle for under 80 bucks.  Granted, you have to get the ad-supported version, but that’s not really much of a hassle.  The ads only show up as a screen saver when the Kindle is off, so it’s not exactly intrusive.

Kind of shocking considering that the Kindle launched at $399 just four years ago.  And even as recently as a year ago, pundits were wondering when the thing would drop below the $100 magic inflection point, and what effect it would have on the market.

But 80 bucks?  Combine that with the Kindle’s adoption of Overdrive for access to public libraries, and I think we’re in a pretty good place.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love paper books and other brands of e-readers, but Amazon gets the nod today.

Nicely done, Mr. Bezos.




Internet Comment Threads Aren’t Going To Troll Themselves

This is a repost from way back in 2008.  I’ve never reposted an older entry before, but I feel the need today.  Ugh.
Internets, I re-present:

Internet Comment Threads Aren’t Going to Troll Themselves



You’ve just read a political article on Fox News/Huffington Post/That Damn John Scalzi‘s Site and the sheer wrongheadedness and deliberate ignorance of those stupid neocons/libs/greenies/freepers is just too much to take.  You should, nay, MUST set them straight in the comments.  It’s the only way they’ll learn.

But are you really ready to play with the big boys?  Do you have the tools you’ll need for the job?  Do you even know what an ad hominem attack is?  Read on, and get ready to join the trolling big leagues!

Doin’ It Up Right, in 5 Easy Steps:

Ad Hominem, Your Best Friend Ever

You’re a busy person, just like me.  Why waste time reading and understanding your opponent’s arguments when you can just cut to the chase and go for the guy making it?  After all, surely his arguments are just as stupid as he is.  So what if other, smarter, people are saying the same thing.  Let’s not lose sight of the fact that the important thing is to win big in a comment thread on the internet.  PERIOD.  Somebody crowing about McCain/Obama’s economic policies?  For heaven’s sake, don’t figure out what they’re saying, call them a name already!

Straw Man, Way Easier to Push Down on the Playground

Don’t let that guy tell you what he thinks!  What are you, a baby?  YOU tell HIM what he thinks!  That’s the way to do it.  It’s not like you have the answer to every little argument anybody might make.  To save time, just listen to your favorite pundit’s talking points, and then no matter what anybody says, you just reply with those.  It saves a hell of a lot of time, let me tell you.  The best part?  You can’t be wrong if you answer your own questions.

False Dilemma, Either You Use This Or the Terrorists Win

I think it’s pretty obvious that your position is not only the right one, it’s the ONLY one.  Now, most comment thread ‘debaters’ aren’t going to realize that right away, so you’re going to have to make it plain and simple.  Also, don’t wimp out when you use this beauty, combine with the Slippery Slope for maximum impact.  For example, if gay marriage is allowed, the next day everyone is going to marry a pigeon.  That pretty much shows the obvious consequence of gay marriage.  Do you want to marry a pigeon?  I sure don’t.

Post Hoc, or How Disco Destroyed the Roman Empire

Post hoc ergo propter hoc is just fancy talk for I WIN, JERK.  You put one of those double vortex air spinners on your car, and your gas mileage went up.  That’s proof right there, buddy.  Did you put it on right before taking that long highway trip?  Who cares?  Driving is driving.  Thing one happened, then thing two happened.  You don’t have to be a school board member to see the science here.  This one is pure gold when you want to show how stupid the other guy’s political candidate is.  Just google his term of office, then google DISASTER DEATH FIRE PUPPIES.  So easy a commie could do it.

Caps Lock, IT WORKS


I’ve done all I can.  You’re ready.  Now get out there and get mad!



The delegate from the sofa votes no confidence.

This was the first chilly morning of the year, and the ground was -surprise- covered with cold dew.  Cher went out, took one horrified step into the yard, looked over her shoulder with damp paw raised dramatically, and then promptly retired to the Fortress of Pillows for the day.

It’s going to be a long winter for somebody.


XKCD is Always Right

Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something yesterday:

XKCD teaches us so much.



Home at last!

I flew back from Chicago today and nearly missed my plane, which kind of sucked. On one hand, it’s nice that everyone wanted to talk to me while I was in town.  It makes me feel appreciated, which is always lovely.  On the other hand, I would have preferred that this appreciation not take the form of a conga line between me and the exit as I rush out to catch my plane.

By the time I got to the airport, the plane was about to board, there was a crazy huge line at security, and for some reason known only to the IT department at American Airlines, seats couldn’t be assigned as normal, which meant another delay at the gate.

Being awesome, I defeated all of the the airport’s diabolical schemes to stop me, so all it could really do at that point was to tell me how it felt about me via sneaky gate assignment:

Think license plate.

On the plus side, I did get to ride the best escalator (bescalator!) in the world when I got back to DFW:

Wouldn't it have been easier to land the plane first?

Pro Tip: Do not yell ‘WHEEEEE!’ all the way down the escalator.  Apparently airport security has no tolerance for FUN.


Proof at Last!


Huzzah!  Got the proof copy of Bad Radio today.  I have to say, it’s pretty cool having a version of the book that you can hit people with hold in your hand.

So far everything looks great.  I’m especially impressed at how crisp the chapter graphics came out.

I’ll review tonight, and barring any crazy errors, it should be available this week.  That’s nearly a month ahead of schedule, which ain’t too shabby.



Do It for Number Ten Ox


You’re as book-lovin’ a bunch as I’ve ever seen, so I’m sure that you’ve already come across Subterranean Press’s announcement today.  If you’ve never read about Master Li and Number Ten Ox, and I don’t know that you need to admit such a thing in public, I just want to say how incredibly, agonizingly jealous I am of you.

Do yourself a favor and buy this collection right now before they’re all gone.  I have multiple copies of the original books in my house, plus a signed collection that I gave to my wife as a present, and I’m still barely resisting the urge to get this one.

Forget about that time I told you bees were delicious, and that other time that I swore my cat had a sense of humor about her tail.  I’ll admit it, those were mean, hilarious lies that I told for my own benefit.

This time, it’s all for you.





Back When Planking was Cool

You may have noticed that I’m a huge nerd.  If not, please let this serve as official notice:

I’ve already mentioned that I’m a fan of elaborate boardgames.  What I may not have said is that I also have a weakness for pirates.

I happen to be in the middle of reading Mike Kalmbach’s The Caldarian Conflict, which is chock-full of high-seas adventure, so my resistance is at an all-time low.  In a sinister conspiracy against my wallet, one of my friends managed to call me during my moment of weakness and mentioned that he heard about Merchants & Marauders and that it was REALLY GOOD.  And that we should play, RIGHT NOW.

So…I bought it.  Sue me, I’m weak.

It arrived today, so hopefully on Saturday my dining room table will look like this:

All I can promise is that my posts next week will contain the words “YARRR” and “BOOTY” as few times as I can manage.



First Look: Print Cover

I just received a proof of the art for the print version of Bad Radio, and I don’t mind saying that I think it’s the bees knees.  I really like the layout and color choices for the back copy, and how Vinny integrated the chapter art.  The whole thing just seems to flow without seeming fussy or too busy, which is harder to do than it sounds.

Looks like the print version will be out ahead of schedule, although I’m not 100% sure of the final release date.

Hopefully this bit of good news will reduce the amount of punching I’m getting for having the two versions not come out at the same time.